by: Stephanie M. Cyr-Engro
To the Man That Broke My Heart, Thank you
I had never experienced a broken heart until my early thirties. It was devastating, confusing, emotionally tiring and at times I felt physically exhausted, which was a complete mystery to me because I’m that one that broke it off. After the break up, I felt as though I made a huge mistake and was trying to win him back, but for what reason? It was a constant battle of emotions. I fell in love with him. One minute I missed him so much and missed the times we shared and the next I remembered all the reasons why I broke up with him. I would run through the entire relationship in my head, questioning if I had tried too hard, did he just not love me, was everything he said to me a lie, was I too needy, what could I have done differently.
The answer is nothing. You can’t change who a person is, their life goals and their priorities. You either accept them as they are or you move on.
After not having contact with him for a couple days, I was finally able to reflect on our actions throughout the relationship and even after the break up. It was time to come to terms with the fact that he was not coming back. Every day, memories would appear unannounced which seemed like torture, but what I learned is that I don’t have to dismiss the memories, but I also don’t have to dwell on them. Dwelling on the past keeps a person at a standstill. You have to learn to move forward.
Trying to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason, seems so cliché, but it’s true. Everyone is on a path of self-discovery. The things you want in your life, will not necessarily apply or fit into another person’s life, at least not at that point in time. There are many lessons in a person’s lifetime. They key is to learn from them.
Everyone has different triggers and reacts differently to certain situations, whether it be trust issues, self-esteem, communicating how one feels etc. Everyone has their own battles to fight. This is not your battle to fight, especially when it comes to communication. A person who has experienced a lot of trauma and loss in their life is not apt to be completely open with their partner about how they feel and this can leave the other person feeling left out or pushed aside. All you can do is be there for them, but if they don’t accept your help or presence you can’t force it. At that point it’s better to just let go. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy trying to piece someone together. This is not your job.
Letting go of someone you love is like asking your heart to stop beating, it feels impossible. The truth is, you never really let them go, you just learn to live without them. There will always be disappointment, a broken heart and tears shed, but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
A broken heart really makes you question and realize what it is that you want in life and in a partner. You realize that you will not settle for anything less than what you want and deserve. So, to the man that broke my heart, thank you. Because of you I now know the meaning of true love. Because of you I now know my self-worth. Because of you I will be stronger. I will always love you and you will always be my hero.
Name: Stephanie M. Cyr-Engro
Current Town: Warwik, RI
Hometown: Bristol, CT
Bio: Graduate of Political Science from the University of Rhode Island (2014) and mother of one child. I have competed in Miss Hawaiian Tropic Nationals, WBFF and Fitness Universe. Five and half month’s post baby I competed in Fitness Universe and won second place. I do not have a trainer nor am I a certified trainer/nutritionist. I write based upon life experience and what has and has not worked for myself over the past eleven years.
Reader questions can be directed to email: [email protected]