Working with Fear

by Dr. Kate Siner – Providence, RI

Inevitably, when people are attempting to grow their business, improve their relationships, or change their lives, they hit a wall of fear. When asked about it, they might say things like: “I am afraid that I will be alone for the rest of my life,” or, “What I want comes at too high of a price.”

Fear is a normal response to change. Believe it or not, it is also a sign that you are on the right track.  Instead of thinking that fear is a sign you are doing something wrong, try finding ways of acknowledging your fears and persisting in the face of them. If you are uncertain how to do that, try some of these ideas:

Pay attention to how you respond to feeling fear. Fear can be sneaky. It can show up as confusion, anger, and apathy. Sometimes, when asked if they are afraid, a person will not identify it as fear but as another emotion. Learn your own habits and this awareness will help you move forward.

What is at risk? If you set a goal and then find that you are not moving towards it, look for how you might be afraid of either achieving or not achieving the outcome. This question can also point to beliefs or contracts a person made with themselves or others. There may be a perceived or real emotional risk in moving forward.  By bringing that risk to light it can be dealt with so that you can more easily achieve your goals.

Take care of yourself: This step appears again and again when it comes to reaching our goals. It is based on the idea that we should not do harm to ourselves. If the situation feels risky, find a way to give yourself some security. It is important that we stretch toward our goals and it is important that we don’t break.

How would you act if you were not afraid?: This solution may sound a bit simplistic, but it is also effective. If you do not have the answer to this question, then look around for someone who seems like they might and try it on for size.

Keep your eye on your goal: Fear can be a sign that you really want something. One way to find the strength to achieve your goal is to really lock in on how important it is to you. This can help you deal with the discomfort that fear instills.

Let it out: Tell someone who is supportive. For whatever reason, fear multiplies when we keep it inside. Let the people who are really supportive of you know how you are feeling and your fear may wane.

Psychologist, speaker, author and educator Dr. Kate has been called a true visionary who advocates for a much-needed shift in the world today. She has dedicated her career to helping people find and develop their own fulfillment and success by connecting to their true selves and taking powerful action.

Kate Siner PhD has grown her business over the past 5 years from a fledgling therapy practice into the multi-practitioner Therapy Collaborative and the mid -six-figure business, Dr. Kate Inc. Dr. Kate holds a PhD in Psychology from Saybrook University, and is an internationally recognized speaker, author and teacher whose success and fulfillment programs and workshops have offered thousands of people nationwide the tools to step fully into their successful lives.

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